Mood Swings: Why I want to take my pen and stab myself!

Okay, so from about April of this year my writing went into full swing. I opened up the Word program on the laptop and ever since I've been writing everyday.

How obsessed I am with it is starting to alarm me as I've even appointments just to stay home and do it.

I just love writing. I get so lost in it. I start to believe my plots and get angry at my characters for doing things I forced them to do.

Of course what I'm going through in my everyday life affects my writing, but I'm finding that my writing is actually affecting my mood greatly.

I'm a frantic editor. I feel like no matter how much I read and re-read my work I always have some form of mistake or error - or a hundred errors that still appear there no matter how many times I've checked and re-checked! 

Sometimes I absolutely love my work, I adore it. I find what I've written or the idea I've had so compelling I can't stop re-reading it or talking about it to the one person who is closest to me. I love my overall story and concept.

Then I'll start from the beginning and re-read from chapter one. As I'm reading I slowly start to become dejected and suddenly I hate this damn trash I wrote! I go out and read the published work of other authors and feel like my work is a child's finger painting trying to stand out in a world of Picassos.

I have put my novels in a USB, and by now I can't count how many times I've thrown that thing into a cupboard, out a window or across the room. It's even come on a journey with me where I had meant to throw it in a public trash can, but after getting talked of the ledge I couldn't bring myself to do it.

Not only that, but my first novel got scrapped four times before I had the final story that I'm rigorously working on. I wrote 80,000 words then tossed it. 60,000 then deleted it. 100,000 words then started again. The last word count before getting canned was 63,000. Even though I like the shape of how the first novel starts now it still is never good enough! I loved the direction my second book took, but then the third book took the same fate of the first and is on it's third re-write.

I feel mental. I feel like a nut case. I feel like what I'm writing is useless and what I'm doing is hopeless.

Why am I writing this junk? Why am I doomed to be the only person who finds this interesting? Why do I waste so much of my life on it? Why can I not bring myself to stop?

I'm in a negative space right now, and I'm wondering if I'm the only one. How do people deal with this sort of thing, and does anyone have any advice for me?